It has been very interesting adjusting to SJ being in school.His first day was actually last Tuesday, and it was such a bittersweet moment.Although he doesn’t have to be to school until 9:00, he woke up at 5:30 am ready to GO. Like darn near waiting at the door.He was so excited and anxious to start school, meet his teacher and make new friends. Surprisingly, I was just as excited and anxious as he was. It was his excitement that gave Stephen and I some comfort and helped us control our emotions.
After getting out the house, taking a few pictures, we stood in line, holding his hand. I saw a mom in front of us crying as she walked out, the father of course being all cool calm and collective. No judgement on her because I get it, the moment was just ALOT. Honestly, speaking, I had two thoughts running through my head, the first, ” my baby is growing up and these years are really going to fly. Now the second feeling is me being really honest and transparent,so do not judge me, but WOW I’M FREE FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS! ONE KID DOWN, ONE MORE TO GO!! Praying the feeling of my second thought, didn’t show all on my face because I wanted to cry and smile at the same time. But here we were, next on the line to be called and the moment came. The principal asked me for his name, and his teachers name and said OK we have it from here. Just like that, he was off, randomly looking back to see if were still there, waving and saying Bye MOM, with the biggest smile on his face. We all walked away and said, wow, he did good. This will be a breeze!
Fast forward to the next morning when we had to drop him at the bus stop and it was a MAN DOWN SITUATION. Just tears upon tears, angry faces at mommy because I could not ride the bus with him. It’s like the feelings he should have had on the 1st day came on the 2nd day. Talk about backwards. Here I am thinking everything is good after yesterday and today it was a different story. talk about confused. He was so upset and disappointed that Sparkle and I were not riding the bus with him. All the prep we did with telling him he will be riding a yellow school bus to and from school went out the window. the excitement replaced with fear. So quickly. They shared a moment before him getting on the bus that made me teary eyed. Sparkle did her best to comfort him and say everything is OK SJ. They hugged and he went on the bus. I though OK that was helpful, thanks chunk. Well no, he got on the bus and that’s when the tears FELL. and I MEAN HARD TEARS. He wore a blue cross bracelet to school to serve as a reminder that he has an assignment as school, to be an example in what he says and what he does. I also reminded him that Jesus is with him every day, he will never ever leave you. Nothing is going to happen to you. Trust me to know that you riding the bus is not to harm you. Daddy and I are doing our best, and this is all we can do for now. It won’t last forever. That calmed him enough to let me get off the bus and go to school. I prayed on that walk home. I felt horrible seeing him cry so hard, for the kids around him stare at him, and for the bus driver who had the audacity to say” WOW, WE HAVE OUR FRIST CRIER!” I mean serious,y bus lady, is that nice of you? As soon as she did that, I thought, what if they start teasing him for crying and wanting his mommy. Thanks bus lady! So many thoughts, negative ones. So on the walk home, I prayed, Sparkle and I held hands thinking about SJ all day. Even 2 hours into our day, Sparkle said Mom, we have to get SJ, he’s on the bus crying for us. ( inserts sad face) SJ was in our thoughts ALL DAY. We got to the bus stop 20 mins early to wait for him, big mistake because the bus was 30 mins late. But no worries we waited and waited well. Could not wait to see him!
Soon as the bus arrived, he ran off the bus so happy.First thing he said was” Mommy, I’m not going to cry anymore on the bus, I’m a big boy”. WELL LOOK AT GOD. It’s been easy breezy with him riding the bus, now as far as us getting out the house and getting to the bus stop, I’ll save that for another blog post.