Mother’s day came and left so quickly, just like that. And here I am stuck, reflecting on the day. I truly don’t know if it’s this third pregnancy or not, but I must share that I am unusually nervous to bring another child into this world. I know we have two already; you would think it wouldn’t be such a big deal. However, I wonder if I am doing an adequate job with the two I have and if I can meet all the demands of “baby number three”. This reality really hit home when I saw the host script for a segment on Essence Magazine live “Simone Gittens- soon to be mother of 3” . I almost fainted after reading it and hearing it all in 5 mins. Say it ain’t so Jesus. Say it ain’t so, this is what was going through my head. After seeing and hearing it, it dawned on me that “this is for real “! Don’t think I’m crazy or anything, I knew it was real before, especially after feeling the first kick, but that really put things in perspective for me, it hit me hard and FAST.
With SJ and Sparkle at a semi-independent stage, for once in this motherhood journey, I finally felt like I had mastered some parenting skills and I was looking forward to them being in some formal type of day care, so you know this pregnancy was a complete surprise. nonetheless we are thankful and our hearts are overjoyed with anticipation of what God has in store for our family. Okay let me be real honest, it’s more like some days we’re overjoyed and some days we’re overwhelmed. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS? This whole motherhood/parenting thing is so darn unpredictable and at times very stressful. I have enough pressure on my darn uterus now, I don’t need any other type of pressure (laughing).
I’ve thought about the Proverbs 31 woman. Before I say anything else, let’s admit she was everything!! She was classy, patient, skilled, bomb time management skills, she rised early and went to bed late, she had winter stuff ready before hand. I read that and looked over and saw two mismatched gloves randomly on the floor. GLORY TO GOD. How Jesus, How? But above all that she was God-fearing. I mean seriously. She lacked nothing.
It dawned on me while reading about this strong woman and hearing my pastor’s sermon on Sunday, that Motherhood is another opportunity for us to truly surrender to Jesus. To come to him for everything, not just for ourselves but for our children. As mothers, we place so much on ourselves, seldom relying on our own thoughts and strengths and we end up lacking patience with the children we adore and find it hard to maintain the strength to complete our daily do lists. At times, I am so worried about spreading myself too thin. When ever I feel overwhelmed with parenting, being a wife and life in general, I reflect on the knowledge that “I am not alone. God is my strength and fortress. It is comforting to know that God will take care of us. Recent thoughts reflect on my understanding that God knew about this pregnancy way before, we did and all we need to do is “Trust Him”, everything will be fine. I have assurance that if I stay connected to God, he will give us rest, peace, and strength he will meet of all of our needs and give us the desires of our hearts.
For the past few weeks I have contemplated my short comings. I’m not perfect, don’t want to be, not even striving for that title, too much pressure, but we all will leave some legacy for our children IN reflecting on the most important things I want to instill in them. I want to raise well-rounded children who are spiritually grounded, self-confident and enjoying their journey through life even though there will be ups and downs. I also want me children to look at me and call me blessed, call themselves blessed, not as a cliché but because they truly feel this way in their hearts.